Thursday, January 31, 2008

The ( Moronic Fat Italian) Guy from Boston

Do you guys remember that fat dude with the crazy website that we used to make fun of on the Bro Case? He got booked on LENO.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Ghostface Killah - World According To Pretty Toney

The Longer - I Just Wanna Dance

"I will post a dance video every day until May 4th, 2008. That's the goal. 365 days of body rockin'. Spread the word!"

Conductor: 207th Street. Last stop. Everyone wake up and get the fuck off my train; I want to go home. Thanks for riding MTA.

--Uptown A train, 207th St

Overheard by: How far north can you go?

Houston Rockets mascot gets pwned.


Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Im Not Surprised Hitler Was A Taurus

Im Not Surprised Hitler Was A Taurus

The Onion

I'm Not Surprised Hitler Was A Taurus

While going through some old copies of Star Signs for my upcoming garage sale, I came across something pretty wild. Did you know that...

Drunk Monkeys

Monday, January 28, 2008

Work emails

I work in a bakery, and we get some weird people emailing and calling us. Here is a particularly interesting string of emails from a woman in Georgia who claims that doctors specifically prescribed cakes from our bakery to her friend who is suffering from cancer and that her friend will die if she doesn't get the cakes. Here they are in chronological order. I should point out that all of the emails come from an email address with the same name as that of the sick friend. Also, one of the emails says that some cakes would "tickle her to death". Hey, I thought that's what we were tying to avoid! And another stated that the doctors "don't care what she eats as along as szhe eats something". I guess that means "something from your bakery specifically, of all of the thousands of bakeries in the country". Enjoy!

From: []
Sent: Wed 12/19/2007 12:08 PM

Dear xxxxx,
Marry Christmas and Happy New Year!! Well, I am very sad this Christmas. I will not be able to order from you guys. My disabilty got cut out, and I have no food in my house. I have not had any food since Sunday afternoon. This computer is my only link to the outside world. I can not drive due to my eyesight. I have no family. I have a brother, but he is in a federal prision. I have no one to turn too not a soul. My church family never calls or comes by to check on me. I just live 1/4 mile from my church in a studio apartment. Thank God, I do not have to pay rent. I am watching this house for the winter while the family is traveling over seas. I haven't heard from them since the end of October. They will not be home till April 2008. I would love to have something like cookies or some brownies without nuts to eat on, but I have no money to buy them. I pray that all of you havea wonderful Holiday and a great 2008.

From: []
Sent: Wed 1/9/2008 5:44 PM

Dear xxxxx,
This is xxxxx again. I am writing to you again about Ms. xxxxx. I have just brought her back from the hospital again today. She is very depressed and thinks that know one cares about her. The doctors are very worried about her and her well being. The doctors have asked me to stay with her for alittle while. I could not tell them no since there is no one else for them too turn too. Her favorite cookies is the sugar cookie. She likes brownies without nuts and starberry , key lime and lemon cakes. Please help me from losing a friend. Please send it too: xxxxx. You may reach me at 404-790-xxxx. Thank you for your kindness in this matter. Please hurry with this because I don't want anything to hapend to her.

From: []
Sent: Sat 1/12/2008 3:14 PM

It is xxxxx again. Ms. xxxxx isn't doing well at all. She thinks that noone cares about her. All she does is cry. I have decided to stay with her for a little while to see if she gets any better. I have talked with her doctors, and they think that I need to be here too. Could you please send her something. She likes sugar cookies, brownies without nuts, stawberry, lemon and keylime cakes. Anything that you could do for her would help her spirits. Please hurry. Send it too: xxxxx. Call me at 404-790-xxxx for more information. Again please hurry.

From: []
Sent: Tue 1/15/2008 2:58 PM

Dear xxxxx,
Hi. This is xxxxx again. Are you going to be able too help me with Ms. xxxxx? She is not doing well at all. I am very worried about her. She is very depressed and will not eat. All she does is sleep and cry. I can not find anything to get her to eat or smile. I am really hoping that you would send her some of your wonderful sugar cookies and maybe some browines without nyts. I have got to have some help from someone. I am really worried about her. I have called her doctors twice since this weekend. They told me to keep a close watch on her. I have not slpet in 2 1/2 days. I am very tired, but my friend is very important too me. Please see what you can do please. Anything that you could send would be appreciated and tickle xxxxx to death. She is giving up, and I am trying to prevent that from happening. Please hurry. Send anything to the following address: xxxxx. If you need me, call me at 404-790-xxxx. Once again, please hurry.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Sent: Thu 1/17/2008 3:19 PM

Hi xxxxx,
Thank you for your e-mail. I am terribly sorry to hear about the worsening medical condition of your friend xxxxx. It does sound like a very difficult situation for you both to be going through. However, as her health appears to be so unstable, we are hesitant to send her baked goods that do not provide many nutrients, which are necessary to bring xxxxx back to good health.

We do wish you both the best and hope that xxxxx's condition improves soon.

Customer Service

From: []
Sent: Thu 1/17/2008 3:18 PM

This is xxxxx. xxxxx has gotten worse. She maybe going back to the hospital. Could you please send her some sugar and butter cookies or anthing without nuts. She also like strawberry and key lime cake and plain chocolate cake with fudge icing. I am hoping that she will eat this to keep her at home. Please send it too xxxxx. Call me at 404-790-xxxx for any questions that you may have. Thank you and hurry.
Her friend,

From: []
Sent: Thu 1/24/2008 1:47 PM

Hello. It's xxxxx. xxxxx is real bad today. She did not sleep any last night and cried all night. She says that know one care or love her and that she is going to die and that everone will be glad. I have just got off the phone with her doctors, and they have told me to increase her medicine alittle. The doctors have asked me if I have heard anything from you, and I told thme no. They want you to get on the ball and do something for her, and they mean it. They are trying their best too keep her alive so maybe they can help her to win this cancer. They don't care what she eats as along as szhe eats something. Send anyting withouts nuts like sugar and butter cookies, tea cake cookies, brownies, strawberry and key lime cakes is what she is wanting. The doctors want her to have it by the end of the week if possible. Send it too: xxxxx/ call me if ne eded at 404-790-xxxx. Thank you
xxxxx/the doctors

From: []
Sent: Sat 1/26/2008 2:52 PM

It's xxxxx. The doctors for xxxxx just left her home about 30 minutes ago. They are very upset that thier request from you have not been followed through wsith. They want the following sent to her asap: sugar cookies, butter cookies, chess bars, brownies with No nuts, and what ever else that yu would like to send. Several of their other staff members have used your comapny own several different thins for gifts. If this request is not done at the request, they will have there friends to stop ordering from your company. xxxxx is not doing well today and that is why they had to make a house call. They want the items to be sent to the following address: xxxxx. THEY WANT THIS DONE AS OF NOW, Thank you for your help in this matter.
As the Doctor Staff for xxxxx as given in direction to xxxxx per her doctors. .

Jesus Riding a Tyrannosaurus Rex




Saturday, January 26, 2008


Kenny writes...While directing on JAG I was privileged to work
with a brilliant Assistant Director named Kevin Koster. He has
an amazing memory. He's able to tell you instantly all the details
of every single JAG episode. -- Kevin's also a serious Hulk fan,
and he gifted me with this list of EVERY reason that Dr. David
Banner was driven to Hulk out.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

....aaaaaand the republican front-runner.

holy christ, the GOP field is like dumb, dumber and dumbest.

Sleepy Pants

New TV

I just emailed this dude on craigslist about a TV for sale, and I think I'm going to buy it from him. Well actually, the email sounded kind of fishy and I wanted to run it by you guys first. I mean, I'm probably just being paranoid, it sounds like a perfectly safe and legitimate business tranaction in which I am fully protected.

"The Tv is still available but I'm receiving too many messages already. I think I will have to remove my AD from craigslist. It's like new with no scratches, no burns, no bad pixels and in perfect condition. The TV came with 2 years warranty and also has a year extended warranty. It's only 2months old and it's going with a wall mount. I have the purchase receipts and the warranty papers as well. I'm selling this for only $380 because I need a quick sale and use the money for another issue so I must sell this ASAP. I am not available right now and I recently moved here. I already got another TV for my new home so I will just ship this to you anywhere you are and I will also take care of the shipping charges and insurance. The TV is in hawaii right now already packed and ready to go. If you are interested, let me know on time so I will hold it up for you and pls payment is needed urgently. Although I would love to receive cash, but I can't because I'm not available right now. You will send me your full name and address so I will ship the TV to you through FedEx 2day delivery, then I will send you the tracking number and a copy of the shipment label, you track it and when you have confirmed it, you will send part of the payment, $180. Then when you receive the TV and have confirmed it is in perfect condition, you will send the remaining balance of $200 to me. I hope you can be trusted. I will accept part payment via western union. Western union money transfer is preferable because it is the fastest and also because I need the money urgently. kindly get back to me asap if you are really interested. Email me back."

Monday, January 21, 2008

NY Surprise

some message boards suddenly locked on to a song called "NY Surprise" by an astoundingly bad local punk band. here are the results. i think my favorite is the "downtempo disco dub".

here's the original version.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Drunk History

Tom Cruise Is Totally Batshit

holy fuck.

Corey Worthington


Speaking of poorly produced 80s thrillers, does anyone recall this show WEREWOLF? I remember drawing a pentagram on my hand when I was 10 and pretending to turn into one of these bad ass FOX-style werewolfs which spurred an impromptu parent-teacher conference with my mom and Mrs. Huggelston, my 4th grade teacher. I was allowed to continue watching with the understanding that I'd chill out with the creepy pentagram stuff

Monday, January 14, 2008

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

One of the best and weirdest parodies of 80's shows out there. The shot of them wearing fencing outfits is pure gold. Great theme song too!

TED Talks

w/ David Gallo. The Octopus at the end will make your brain explode

More awesome stuff here

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Spank Rock ft. Illvia - "Pu$$y"

one of the weirdest and most disturbing music videos i've seen in a while. sorry, i don't know how to embed it.

there are more crazy NSFW videos on spank rock's myspace page.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Mattress Ranch

I love this feisty old man and his awesome dance and jingle

Family Auto Mart

Family Auto Mart

Posted Feb 16, 2007

Just when you thought local television couldn't get any weirder, The Family Man presents the incredibly manic Family Auto Mart Show.

Spunk Loving Sluts

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Stranger Danger

More random weirdness coming my way from strangers. I have a video of my friend jumping on a hotel bed (clothed). It is not at all sexual, but some random german guy with a bed jumping fetish sends me this message today. I haven't figured out if I will reply yet:

Greetings from Germany
hey Deboraahh,

My name is Christian, I`m 30 years young. I`m here at for watching nice videos - and for making friends online. I discovered your video "Jumping on the bed". It`s sooo much fun - I really liked this video. Nadja jumping on the bed. Well, I know I`m a bit curious, but I would like to know one thing: How old is Nadja in this video? I know - very curious, but I would like to know.

I`m looking forward to your news.

Kind regards,


I went to his profile on youtube and he has favorited 30 videos of teenage girls jumping on beds. He's a creepster. I'm too lazy to hyperlink. Sorry.

1-800 OK CABLE

Im not sure if this commercial airs outside of New York but whenever im watching TV its guaranteed to play once or twice:

So if thats not bad enough these guys actually play their cable song live, in front of people, and people stand there and watch them play their cable song and clap at the end:

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Best Phone Message I've Ever Received

Today I received a message on my phone from an unknown number. All it contained was the following picture:


Monday, January 7, 2008


found on a flickr image search for "asshole"

also, more hilarity at

Susan Savage-Rumbaugh and the Bonobos


Yee-Haw! My Vote Cancels Out Y'alls!

Well, damn, man, it's pretty soon gonna be president election time again, and that means we gotta start thinkin' about who's gonna be the one we want to be president. That's some important stuff, who's president, because whoever's president will be in charge of the whole dang shootin' match. And, if y'all are like me, you know America's president needs to be the kind of old boy who, in the first place, kicks him some damn ass, and in the second place, don't listen to all that bitchin' about how he shouldn't be kickin' so much ass. And, if you ain't like me, guess what? My vote cancels out y'all's!

Now, you probably waste a whole lotta good-fishin' Saturdays readin' yourself the papers, watchin' all the talk on the TV, and sittin' around thinkin' real hard about which way you gonna vote. Well, it's a real shame, then, ain't it, that all that time you spend in real careful considerin' don't count for nothin', once my vote runs y'all's right off the road.

Shoot, neighbor, if there's one type'a guy you don't want in charge, it's some damn weaklin' in the White House what won't kick enough ass. Bush, that guy we got now, he kicked him some ass in that old desert. And Bush's daddy? He kicked him some ass, too. Reagan? Kicked all the ass he could, and some they said he shouldn't! But Clinton? Barely no ass-kickin' at all. Just got his ol' joint tugged by a fat girl, and hell, I could do that down by the Dew Drop Inn off I-78. What's the damn use of bein' the Commander-Chief if that's all you're gonna do? Face it, bein' president is a job of work for ass-kickers, and if you say otherwise, hell, I got a vote here what totally negates yours.

So maybe you ain't a patriot like I am. Now, when I say patriot, I'm talkin' about most of our athletes, country-music stars, and guys like me what agree with them. So, say you ain't a patriot, and you're fixin' to vote up a candidate what's some limpo what'll give in to the crybaby liberals, the damn screechin' women, the commies at the United Nations, and the other America-haters. Fine by me! I got a vote here that does just as much good as yours, and mine's marked "No Limpos!"

Or say you wanna take away the money we need for our Army tanks and rifles and fightin' planes what let us keep our eternal vigilance of freedom by invadin' other countries. And say you want to give it to the damn schoolteachers, which let me tell you never done old Duane any damn good, and still, they most times drive a newer car than I do. I learned all I got from my daddy—another guy without any fancy book smarts, by the way. If he didn't need them books, then why do anybody else? Well, hey, I might not be educated, but I do got me a big ol' flag, $300 from the government, and a president that, like I told you before, kicked him some ass. It's things like that what make me happy my vote gonna meet y'all's toe-to-toe and take it down!

Plus, what's more, I got to see Saddam get his ass throwed in jail. That's a big ol' switch-a-dilly from a few years ago, when Saddam was runnin' around free while Duane was in the tank, let me tell you.

So maybe you think what we got here is one a them Mexican pissin' matches, what with my vote and your vote both bein' worth the exact same. But I tell you what! There's all the guys workin' down here at the budget-transmission shop with me, and the guys at the body shop across the way, and the car-battery dismantlin' yard. Plus, there's all our pals at the Dew Drop off 78, and all our other pals at the County Dragaway, and our big ol' families, and our wives, for those what have 'em. Read me? In this next election, whenever they set it to come around, we gonna go up agin' all you guys at the coffee shop and the library. Now, if you ain't noticed, we got a lot more parkin' lot space down at the racetrack and the Farm & Fleet store than y'all do out in front of your bookstores and muffin shops. All of us add up real quick, and our votes do a damn bunch more than just cancel out all y'all's!

Shit, somehow we do it ever' time we need to keep the damn school board from gettin' uppity on us.

So hey, man, have fun readin' up and debatin' and thinkin' on what you gonna mark down on your votin' papers this year. Duane ain't thought too much yet about which way his vote's gonna go. But somethin' tells me, friend, it ain't gonna be the same as y'alls!

Thursday, January 3, 2008

'Werewolf boy' - who snarls and bites - on the run from police after escaping Moscow clinic

Russian police are hunting a "werewolf boy" - who snarls and bites - after he escaped from a Moscow clinic just a day after being rescued from the wild.

Doctors expressed shock saying he was found living with a pack of wolves in a remote forest in the Kaluga region of central Russia.

"He's clearly dangerous to other people," said a police spokesman yesterday.

"He's got typical wolf-like habits and behaviour.

"He has very strong and sharp teeth, which could really endanger someone if he bites."

The boy looks about ten - but after tests conducted by Moscow medics, they believe he maybe much older.

They are puzzled because he appears intelligent but does not seem to speak Russian or any other language. It is suspected he has been running wild for many years.

Such cases are not uncommon in Russia where there have been regular reports of 'Mowgli' children abandoned by their parents who are cared for by animals.

The boy moves around with his legs half bent, said Tvoi Den newspaper. "He was running with wolves and searching for food with them."

Villagers found this "wild creature" in a lair made of leaves and sticks in freezing temperatures and told the police who named him Lyokha, though his real identity is not known.

"He's dirty, hungry, and looked to have had a hard time," said the police spokesman. "We brought him to a clinic in Moscow.

"It was simply unbelievable. He doesn't react when we call to him." Medics gave him clothes and said that he sprang down the corridor, bursting into his room and devouring his food like an animal.

His nails on his feet were like claws.

After 24 hours he had evaded security men at the clinic and escaped. He is now believed to be on the loose in Moscow region.

"We didn't even manage to complete the proper medical checks. We only succeeded in giving him a shower, cutting his nails and took some blood and other tests," said a doctor.

"It's quite possible he is a dangerous with psychological problems but also a source of viruses and infections."


Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Happy New Years!

I went through Sean's computer while taking care of Pablo and Ella last week and found a bunch of videos from JP 04'-05'(naked Erinn pics to follow)

Hot Dog Mess:

Bobby Corwin @ 6 Pond St.

Brunch @ Doyles

Cheese @ Chestnut

Karaoke @ Triple D's w/ Caitie and Adam Littleboy