Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Bartolo Colon's Face


Dead Monster Washes Ashore in Montauk

Good luck with your hell demons

From Gawker

No, Lizzie Grubman's still alive. This is an actual monster, some sort of rodent-like creature with a dinosaur beak. A tipster says that there is "a government animal testing facility very close by in Long Island," but unless the government is trying to design horrible Montauk monsters that will eat IEDs and fart fire at bad Iraqis, we're not sure why they would create such an unthinkable beast. Our guess is that it's viral marketing for something. Ali Lohan's new album perhaps. Click thru for larger dino-damage.

The Rogue Taxedermist

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Ballon Release for Orphan Fundraiser

Releasing balloons for orphans at the University of West England in Bristol. Each balloon symbolizes an orphan life.

Gambling w/ Weed

Baby Meeses Love Country Music and Sprinklers

Slam dunk drunk: Learnings from the A weekend Party!

1. When Tiger calls a party, never miss the chance

2. Drink till u drop… into the pool and then drink again

3. Never play games while partying – its takes time away from the drinking session

4. Wine and women make a heady concoction.

5. Get drunk to make an ass of yourself (I still would drink!)

6. Irrespective of size, men and women can dance in a drunken trance

7. Involve yourself with someone who is pissed drunk- and be blamed for whatever happened!

8. Forced into the water, everyone learns to swim.

9. Get too close for comfort and men will be men!

10. Get too drunk and women will transform into men (idiots)

11. Standing Instruction at Confident Cascade: “if resort booked by Tiger & Co., Call Mallya, the lord himself!!”

13. THE KING OF GOOD TIMES? - Mr. TIGER himself (and not Mallya)

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Binocular Soccer

wiffle ball is dead. let's do this instead.

McDonald's Robber Is Finalist For McDonald's Jingle Contest

Perhaps in attempt to restore his McDonald's karma, a man who once held up a McDonald's at gunpoint is now one of two South Florida finalists in a McDonald's jingle contest. Tamien Bain, age 29, held up a McDonald's store when was 14 and served 12 years for the crime.

Go to this Myspace link and select track 4. Winners will be announced on July, 22nd.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

10 Christian Dating Tips for
Effective Missionary Dating

1. If he tells your that you are hot...
Tell him God made you hot.

2. If he wants to hold your hand...
Give him a Bible.

3. If he tries to get closer...
Tell him the Holy Spirit is wooing him.

4. If he asks to pay for dinner...
Remind him that Jesus also paid a debt He did not owe!

5. If he reaches his arm around you...
Tell him that nobody will ever be as close to you as Jesus is.
(or ask him if you instead could "lay hands" on him in prayer)

6. If he tries to kiss you...
Remind him that a kiss killed your Savior.
(and you're not ready to "speak in tongues")

7. If he asks to come inside...
Ask him if he has asked Jesus to come inside his heart.

8. If he tells you he loves you...
Tell him that Jesus loves him.

9. If he gets angry that you won't put out...
Clarify to him that W.W.J.D. does NOT mean "Who would Jesus Do."

10. After you dump him...
Tell him that Jesus Christ will never leave or forsake him.

Monday, July 21, 2008

FINALLY: Songs sung the way they were meant to be

Please visit Wing Han Tsang's Official MySpace Page to delight in the joy of her mellifluous voice.

Wing is admired by fans throughout the world for the passion and joy she shares through her CDs and performances of popular songs. With a unique voice and an ever-widening repertoire, Wing loves singing and she lives to sing. Her goal is to sing beautiful songs as they should be sung, and she spends 3-4 hours every day working towards this goal. Her singing teacher helps Wing work on her current repertoire, and helps to choose the songs for the next CD.

A New Zealand resident, Wing has released 14 CDs to date, and they have sold very well throughout the world, giving her a cult following. She is a regular guest on radio shows and television celebrity guest and entertainment shows, and has appeared on programmes as diverse as TAB Sports Cafe (New Zealand), Rove Live (Australia) and the animated television satire show South Park. Her live peformances have ranged equally widely in their staging, from old folks homes and hospitals to university gyms, private parties and corporate gigs.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

If this blog was a tamagatchi,

it would be dead right now. At least once. Why don't you all care about funny things anymore?

Thursday, July 10, 2008

DMX breaks silence on Obama

Interview with XXL Magazine

XXL: Are you following the presidential race?
DMX: Not at all.

XXL: You’re not? You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.
DMX: His name is Barack?!

XXL: Barack Obama, yeah.
DMX: Barack?!

XXL: Barack.
DMX: What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

XXL: Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.
DMX: Barack Obama?

XXL: Yeah.
DMX: What the fuck?! That ain’t no fuckin’ name, yo. That ain’t that nigga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

XXL: You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.
DMX: I ain’t really paying much attention.

XXL: I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black…
DMX: Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit” [laughs] “That ain’t your fuckin’ name.” Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack.

XXL: So you’re not following the race. You can’t vote right?
DMX: Nope.

XXL: Is that why you’re not following it?
DMX: No, because it’s just—it doesn’t matter. They’re gonna do what they’re gonna do. It doesn’t really make a difference. These are the last years.

XXL: But it would be pretty big if we had a first Black president. That would be huge.
DMX: I mean, I guess…. What, they gon’ give a dog a bone? There you go. Ooh, we have a Black president now. They should’ve done that shit a long time ago, we wouldn’t be in the fuckin’ position we in now. With world war coming up right now. They done fucked this shit up then give it to the Black people, “Here you take it. Take my mess.”

XXL: Right, exactly.
DMX: It’s all a fuckin’ setup. It’s all a setup. All fuckin’ bullshit. All bullshit. I don’t give a fuck about none of that.

XXL: We could have a female president also, Hillary Clinton.
DMX: I mean, either way it doesn’t matter. I don’t care. No one person is directly affected by which president, you know, so what does it matter.

XXL: Yeah, but the country is.
DMX: I guess. The president is a puppet anyway. The president don’t make no damn decisions.

XXL: The president…they don’t have that much authority basically?
DMX: Nah, never.

XXL: But Bush pretty much…
DMX: You think Bush is making fuckin’ decisions?

XXL: He did, yeah, he fucked up the country.
DMX: He act like he making decisions. He could barely speak! He could barely fuckin’ speak!
Can’t be serious. He ain’t making no damn decisions.

XXL: Well Barack has a good chance of winning so that might be something.
DMX: Good for him, good for him.