Monday, January 28, 2008

Work emails

I work in a bakery, and we get some weird people emailing and calling us. Here is a particularly interesting string of emails from a woman in Georgia who claims that doctors specifically prescribed cakes from our bakery to her friend who is suffering from cancer and that her friend will die if she doesn't get the cakes. Here they are in chronological order. I should point out that all of the emails come from an email address with the same name as that of the sick friend. Also, one of the emails says that some cakes would "tickle her to death". Hey, I thought that's what we were tying to avoid! And another stated that the doctors "don't care what she eats as along as szhe eats something". I guess that means "something from your bakery specifically, of all of the thousands of bakeries in the country". Enjoy!

From: xxxxx@bellsouth.net [mailto:xxxxx@bellsouth.net]
Sent: Wed 12/19/2007 12:08 PM
To: xxxxx@xxxxx.com
Subject:

Dear xxxxx,
Marry Christmas and Happy New Year!! Well, I am very sad this Christmas. I will not be able to order from you guys. My disabilty got cut out, and I have no food in my house. I have not had any food since Sunday afternoon. This computer is my only link to the outside world. I can not drive due to my eyesight. I have no family. I have a brother, but he is in a federal prision. I have no one to turn too not a soul. My church family never calls or comes by to check on me. I just live 1/4 mile from my church in a studio apartment. Thank God, I do not have to pay rent. I am watching this house for the winter while the family is traveling over seas. I haven't heard from them since the end of October. They will not be home till April 2008. I would love to have something like cookies or some brownies without nuts to eat on, but I have no money to buy them. I pray that all of you havea wonderful Holiday and a great 2008.
Sincerely,
xxxxx

From: xxxxx@bellsouth.net [mailto:xxxxx@bellsouth.net]
Sent: Wed 1/9/2008 5:44 PM
To: xxxxx@xxxxx.com
Subject:

Dear xxxxx,
This is xxxxx again. I am writing to you again about Ms. xxxxx. I have just brought her back from the hospital again today. She is very depressed and thinks that know one cares about her. The doctors are very worried about her and her well being. The doctors have asked me to stay with her for alittle while. I could not tell them no since there is no one else for them too turn too. Her favorite cookies is the sugar cookie. She likes brownies without nuts and starberry , key lime and lemon cakes. Please help me from losing a friend. Please send it too: xxxxx. You may reach me at 404-790-xxxx. Thank you for your kindness in this matter. Please hurry with this because I don't want anything to hapend to her.
Sincerely,
xxxxx

From: xxxxx@bellsouth.net [mailto:xxxxx@bellsouth.net]
Sent: Sat 1/12/2008 3:14 PM
To: xxxxx@xxxxx.com
Subject:


Hello,
It is xxxxx again. Ms. xxxxx isn't doing well at all. She thinks that noone cares about her. All she does is cry. I have decided to stay with her for a little while to see if she gets any better. I have talked with her doctors, and they think that I need to be here too. Could you please send her something. She likes sugar cookies, brownies without nuts, stawberry, lemon and keylime cakes. Anything that you could do for her would help her spirits. Please hurry. Send it too: xxxxx. Call me at 404-790-xxxx for more information. Again please hurry.
Sincerely,
xxxxx

From: xxxxx@bellsouth.net [mailto:xxxxx@bellsouth.net]
Sent: Tue 1/15/2008 2:58 PM
To: xxxxx@xxxxx.com
Subject:

Dear xxxxx,
Hi. This is xxxxx again. Are you going to be able too help me with Ms. xxxxx? She is not doing well at all. I am very worried about her. She is very depressed and will not eat. All she does is sleep and cry. I can not find anything to get her to eat or smile. I am really hoping that you would send her some of your wonderful sugar cookies and maybe some browines without nyts. I have got to have some help from someone. I am really worried about her. I have called her doctors twice since this weekend. They told me to keep a close watch on her. I have not slpet in 2 1/2 days. I am very tired, but my friend is very important too me. Please see what you can do please. Anything that you could send would be appreciated and tickle xxxxx to death. She is giving up, and I am trying to prevent that from happening. Please hurry. Send anything to the following address: xxxxx. If you need me, call me at 404-790-xxxx. Once again, please hurry.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Sincerely,
xxxxx

From: xxxxx@xxxxx.com
Sent: Thu 1/17/2008 3:19 PM
To: xxxxx@bellsouth.net
Subject:


Hi xxxxx,
Thank you for your e-mail. I am terribly sorry to hear about the worsening medical condition of your friend xxxxx. It does sound like a very difficult situation for you both to be going through. However, as her health appears to be so unstable, we are hesitant to send her baked goods that do not provide many nutrients, which are necessary to bring xxxxx back to good health.

We do wish you both the best and hope that xxxxx's condition improves soon.

xxxxx
Customer Service

From: xxxxx@bellsouth.net [mailto:xxxxx@bellsouth.net]
Sent: Thu 1/17/2008 3:18 PM
To: xxxxx@xxxxx.com
Subject:

Hello,
This is xxxxx. xxxxx has gotten worse. She maybe going back to the hospital. Could you please send her some sugar and butter cookies or anthing without nuts. She also like strawberry and key lime cake and plain chocolate cake with fudge icing. I am hoping that she will eat this to keep her at home. Please send it too xxxxx. Call me at 404-790-xxxx for any questions that you may have. Thank you and hurry.
Her friend,
xxxxxx

From: xxxxx@bellsouth.net [mailto:xxxxx@bellsouth.net]
Sent: Thu 1/24/2008 1:47 PM
To: xxxxx@xxxxx.com
Subject:

Greetings.
Hello. It's xxxxx. xxxxx is real bad today. She did not sleep any last night and cried all night. She says that know one care or love her and that she is going to die and that everone will be glad. I have just got off the phone with her doctors, and they have told me to increase her medicine alittle. The doctors have asked me if I have heard anything from you, and I told thme no. They want you to get on the ball and do something for her, and they mean it. They are trying their best too keep her alive so maybe they can help her to win this cancer. They don't care what she eats as along as szhe eats something. Send anyting withouts nuts like sugar and butter cookies, tea cake cookies, brownies, strawberry and key lime cakes is what she is wanting. The doctors want her to have it by the end of the week if possible. Send it too: xxxxx/ call me if ne eded at 404-790-xxxx. Thank you
xxxxx/the doctors

From: xxxxx@bellsouth.net [mailto:xxxxx@bellsouth.net]
Sent: Sat 1/26/2008 2:52 PM
To: xxxxx@xxxxx.com
Subject:

Greetings,
It's xxxxx. The doctors for xxxxx just left her home about 30 minutes ago. They are very upset that thier request from you have not been followed through wsith. They want the following sent to her asap: sugar cookies, butter cookies, chess bars, brownies with No nuts, and what ever else that yu would like to send. Several of their other staff members have used your comapny own several different thins for gifts. If this request is not done at the request, they will have there friends to stop ordering from your company. xxxxx is not doing well today and that is why they had to make a house call. They want the items to be sent to the following address: xxxxx. THEY WANT THIS DONE AS OF NOW, Thank you for your help in this matter.
As the Doctor Staff for xxxxx as given in direction to xxxxx per her doctors. .

4 comments:

Drum said...

too good. what did you guys end up sending her?

Mearns said...

Browines without nyts, starberry cakes, plain chocolate cake with fudge icing, chess bars. You know, stuff that kills cancer.

TuRdZ said...

yeah it was a pain in the ass writing all those emails, but I finally got some free brownies out of it!

Rian said...

Is this person named Lazlo Toth?