NFL quarterback Michael Vick is facing federal charges for allegedly participating in illegal dogfighting, and now he's being hit with a "$63,000,000,000 billion dollar" lawsuit filed by South Carolina inmate Jonathan Lee Riches, who says Michael stole his pit bulls and sold them on eBay to buy "missiles from Iran." Fox News reports:
The complaint also alleges that Vick would need those missiles because he pledged allegiance to Al Qaeda in February of this year.
“Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes,” Riches writes in the complaint.
Riches wants $63 billion dollars “backed by gold and silver “ delivered to the front gates to the Williamsburg Federal Correctional facility in South Carolina. Riches is an inmate at the facility serving out a wire fraud conviction.
Oh yeah, did I mention the lawsuit was written by hand? Because it's written by hand. And I'm not a lawyer, but this Jonathan Lee Riches sounds like he's got a rock solid case. Michael Vick better start saving, because "$63 billion dollars backed by gold and silver “ is kind of a lot of money. I don't want to brag, but I'm pretty good with numbers.
-www.superficial.com
2 comments:
I want to physically hurt someone's feelings now.
A lawyer friend of mine forwarded a couple other suits Jonathan Lee Riches has filed in the last year. One is just a list of defendants (atheletes, politicians, terrorist organizations, corporations, etherial concepts, pretty much anything you can think of) that goes for like 12 pages and is followed by no accusation whatsoever. I'm convinced this dude is a genius.
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